All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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