I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
