Apparently you make a good broom.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
