Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
