I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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