I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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