She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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