I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
