So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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