Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
