Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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