According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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