Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You made out with two different species that night
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
