She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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