its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
