Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
they need to just BURY HIM!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
