I'm jealous of your bromance
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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