The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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