Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize