I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Randomize