By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He felt like a one man threesome
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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