My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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