I hope mine doesn't look like that
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
