he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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