Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
