I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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