sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have aggressive nipples.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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