One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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