Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
