My friends, they love my intelligence
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize