i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
