How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
