i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
