i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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