You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I didn't notice because vodka
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
