OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
