Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
