i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
