plz talk dirty to me
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
