there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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