I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
