chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
