I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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