i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
