The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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