I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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