woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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