Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So here I am, sexting at work.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
