Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize