He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
