you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
