Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
