Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
