Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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