yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
