The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize