ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you would pick up someone in the library
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
