R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
