I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize