Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize