i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
