she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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