I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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