my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize