I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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