True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
